On My Son’s Birthday

On this, my son’s 2nd birthday, I pay tribute to the two most amazing women in my life: my mum and my wife. 

For it is in these 2 years that I have witnessed firsthand how much time, energy, money, sleep, blood, sweat and tears my wife has sacrificed for our son; the superhuman physical, mental and emotional strength she showed in caring for the child entrusted to us.

For it is in these 2 years that I thus found a newfound appreciation for my own mother, who I now realise went through all these caring for me before I was even able to bear witness.

For it is in these two years that I have found an understanding of the words of Allah when He said:

“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.”

[Surah Luqman:14]

Thank you so much, to mama/nana and yangku/mummy from myself and baby Mukhlis! 

We are truly blessed to have you both in our lives ❤️❤️❤️

I met a shrub who caught my eye, 

from the dull leafy hedge 

standing out shy; 

on her sprigs a sprinkle 

of small buds, pink

and on them

not a single leaf.

Has she made a timing error,

thinking spring is near;

and is then but a

beautiful mistake?

I don't know..but to me she 

seems to be saying:

"Hey..even 

in the winter chill,

in you is strength 

to put out flowers still" 

:)

[2:286]

the da'ie should be like the autumn tree,

who through her pain of falling leaves,

brightens the world in orange hues.

one can live several different lives concurrently;

while feeling in each and every one

lonely.

let not the loneliness be 

perpetual,

let not the loneliness be

spiritual.

[2:186] 

Awfa's Treatise on Loyalty and Trust

How beautiful a couple make Loyalty and Trust,

though too often they are found separated; incomplete:

This is the lesson from a baby

who hasn't yet learnt how to not trust.

A baby is born with eyes that do not judge.

But one of the first social skills she will learn

is to be anxious around strangers. 

To distrust.

You see, we don't forget how to trust.

Rather, we learn how to distrust. 

It is a natural stage of a baby's development;

maybe, an instinctive preparation to face a world

which is not always what it seems:

where people cheat, lie, deceive, play power games.

And to cheat, lie, deceive, play power games,

are social skills the baby, too, 

will learn as she grows up;

though now she is deceptively innocent.

We don't forget how to trust.

Rather, we learn how to distrust. 

And 

perhaps the belief that other people deceive

is a mechanism we build in our own minds

to cope with the guilt of our own deception.

Perhaps the belief that other people are not what they seem

is a mechanism we build in our minds

to cope with the burden of our own secrets.

If so then to trust is something to re-learn. 

And to learn how to trust others, 

one first has to learn to be worthy 

of the trust of others. 

How can I expect loyalty from others when I am myself untrustworthy? 

How can I expect to trust others when I am myself disloyal? 

Loyalty and Trust come hand in hand.

Naturally. Beautifully.

But only if they meet.

This is the lesson from a baby

who hasn't yet learnt how to not trust:

though too often they are found separated; incomplete,

how beautiful a couple make Loyalty and Trust. 

Credits: Awfa binti Adlan Wafi

Seat Booking

You know why I enjoy those weekly train journeys?

It is a chance to escape from both the weekday hassle of Preston hospital and the weekend hassle of Manchester;

a quiet time for me to share with just the window and my thoughts.

Sometimes, however, it would be a chance I wouldn't have:

if I catch the train at rush hour, the train is often full to bursting.

And so I would have to stand up for the nearly hour-long journey in close proximity to equally tired people who were also unlucky enough to not get a seat.

So, after a while, I developed a sense of apprehension when the train approaches the station..

would it be a relaxing, seated journey?

or would it be spent desperately trying to be comfortable by leaning on something the whole time?

Then one day, as I was getting on a train half-full 

(which is most 'exciting' because you don't know whether you're assured a seat or not), 

a thought struck me:

my seat has been booked!

No, I didn't make a booking via the trainline website; and so no, the seat did not have my name on it - 

but my seat booking is even more guaranteed than that!

Because (I just realized) Allah has decreed that 

on this particular train, at this particular time, a guy named Mikhail will get this particular seat.

And if Allah has decreed it, I will get it regardless.

(And if he has not, than I won't get it regardless.)

I guess that's life in general -

we so often feel under pressure;

under attack from all the decisions we have to make, the assignments we have to get done, the seats we have to race for.

But stress for what..??

"rufi'atil aqlaam, wa jaffatis suhuf", as the Prophet s.a.w. wisely described the nature of the fate which has been written for each of us:

"The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried".

A firm belief in qadha' & qadar will make you a chilled person. 

And that's cool, bruv 😎

(Not to say don't put in any effort at all lah.. 

If I don't make effort to get on the train in the first place, how should I even hope to get a seat??

The point is: Relax. Make the effort. Then chill.

"rufi'atil aqlaam, wa jaffatis suhuf") 

😎

Idols

When those statues around the Kaabah were brought down, I imagine

that it must have been painful for the worshippers of those idols to see.

It must be hard to let go of old habits, old attachments.

But that pain was, ultimately, short-lived.

And that pain was necessary, before 

the inner peace that Islam brought 

could enter their hearts.

It is a similar case, I imagine, for those idols we have in our hearts:

wealth, self, a lover.

But like those statues around the Kaabah they too must be brought down.

It is a pain necessary to achieve inner peace.

And I pray that it too will be a pain short-lived.

#imanbarunakup

Inflammation

Inflammation is the body's way of protecting itself;

after a wound is made, inflammation 

clears harmful objects and dead tissue,

and helps the body heal.

Yet with inflammation

there is pain, loss of function

and in a tragic irony, 

too much inflammation can actually damage 

the very body it is meant to protect.

Such is the case with love,

which is but inflammation of the heart:

it is natural, human, and 

in the correct dose, good.

But what a tragic irony it would be 

if love for this world 

takes one away from 

the One who is Most Loving, who

blessed him with the object of love 

in the first place.

"Ya muqallibal quluub..tsabbit qalbi 'ala deenik"

#imanbarunakup

Makan tak kenyang,
tidur tak lena,
mandi tak basah..
jangan sampai solat tak khusyuk.
Hehehe.. 😉

(The love story with Allah comes first and always.)

[2:45-46]

p.s. esok hari isnin. Jgn lupa puasa

Is not the act of putting hope

in what is not permanent

an act of either

ignorance,

weakness, or

plain stupidity?

[18:7-8]

Good Trees

"...a good word is like a good tree...

It produces its fruit all the time...",

reads a line in my favourite book 

(itself a book full of good words).

And how true it is:

words really are our investments;

our words possibly live on 

longer than our physical bodies do.

While on the other hand

"...a bad word is like a bad tree, 
uprooted from the surface of the earth."

How many of our words

are mentioned or written

without thought or reflection?

Forgetting that

a meaningless prose

is but

a scentless rose.

Let's plant good trees :)

[14:24-26]

#tadabburMoorPark #macaiPreston #imanbarunakup #IBNU

Manchester Snow

Like footsteps left

in Manchester snow

is the dunya;

fleeting brushstrokes on

a fleeting canvas.

Of Peace and OSCEs

Peace, funnily enough, 

can come in the knowledge

that you have a test coming up.

Because

when there is a test coming up,

it takes first priority;

everything else comes second,

allowing you to focus your time and energy 

on that one thing - the test.

Perhaps this is one way

we can say

that Islam brings peace:

not necessarily because

there is with it

an absence of conflict;

but because with it

one finds peace in oneself - 

the peace of knowing 

what the real test is,

and freeing you 

to focus your time and energy on it.

#tadabburOSCE

(Please make du'a for me...!!)