Goodbye, Fikri

The airport took my housemate away today,

and so in this house I am now alone.

But I guess that's the nature of my course:

come 5th year you gotta start getting used to 

people entering and leaving Life at the hospital, and 

entering and leaving your life at the airport.

My discussion with Fikri yesterday was quite a deep one.

Over iftar we contemplated the temporality of this dunya,

and the basis of human relationships,

and indeed, how fleeting those relationships are 

if not fillah; for Allah.

On that basis, what we should aim for 

is to be with our loved ones forever

not in this dunya, but

in a good place in the hereafter.

Thanks for all the reminders, Fikri.

May we meet twice:

Once in this dunya, once in Jannah, biidznillah :')

Ameen..

(Now..back to the attic 😩)

P.s. ak balik tadi, hari cerah kot..siap gi jogging. Alhamdulillah doa ko termakbul haha. Make doa that the rest of my days will be sunny, til the day I go home to my family..ameen!

P.p.s. thx again bday present ak. Heart-warming..harap2 room-warming jgak winter nnt. 😝

P.p.p.s bajet macho gile muka ko dlm gamba2 ni

Birthday Book

To write a book has always been my dream - today it still is.

Then again, I already have written some books - 

if those books I wrote as a young child count:

books about the adventures of a hero in a made-up planet,

a book compiling random stories and tales of Pokemon.

And, then again,

maybe life itself is a book;

the first chapter written in words unseen

at the moment we draw our first breath,

or at the moment we start existing as a ball of cells,

or even when our parents first met.

If so then every birthday is a chapter

of a story which nobody knows how it will unfold, 

nor end;

the story of a hero in a made-up planet,

living out a compilation of random stories 

(and yeah, the odd Pokemon once in a while).

Perhaps, then, a birthday 

is a chance to take a pause.

To stop and reflect on how the story has panned out so far,

though it is so very tempting to rush to the next chapter.

Perhaps it is a chance to appreciate 

not just you, the hero of your story,

but also those 'minor' characters around you

who we too often disregard as 

playing only cameo roles -

the neighbour,

the canteen lady,

the person you passed by on the street today -

forgetting that they, in fact, have

kept us entertained, 

came up with surprises, 

gave our lives meaning

over all those chapters.

Also forgetting that those 'minor characters' 

are themselves developing; 

the heroes of their own books,

written in parallel to mine, but 

so often intersecting with my story.

Anyways,

I was gifted this book for my birthday this year:

"When Breath becomes Air"

a book not completed by its original author

because he died before he could finished it.

His wife wrote the rest.

A book about meaning, about identity, about mortality - 

a (surprisingly 😜) deep present from a person from

one of those characters in my life who turn out to be not-so-minor after all;

who has over the chapters entertained, come up with surprises, gave me meaning.

And yes, herself developed as a heroine.

Maybe I shouldn't let it stay a dream, 

and start writing a book..

If Allah wills, I'll live to see it to completion.

If not, perhaps someone else will finish it for me.

After all, perhaps 

we are not meant to finish our own book..

Thank you to all who wished me happy birthday today,

I am grateful to have everyone of you in my story, 

as I hope you are grateful to have me in yours.

(thanks Dik for the wonderful present :))

Babies, Yu Yi and Prayer

Perhaps in how we perform our prayers, 

we should be learn from babies

to feel yu yi;

to live in the now.

They who have yet to learn how to crawl,

and so are not always in a rush to go somewhere;

They who have yet to learn how to say "me",

and so are not always busy thinking about themselves;

They who have yet to learn how to plan ahead,

and so are not always occupied about

what to do now,

in 5 minutes,

in 5 years.

Perhaps in how we perform our prayers,

we should learn from babies,

who live knowing they are

dependent fully on others.

They who have yet to learn how to feed themselves,

and so cry desperately whenever hungry

knowing instinctively that

survival depends entirely on the mercy of others.

They who have not yet forgotten how to be dependent,

have not yet fallen for the illusion that 

whatever they have in life

is there only because of their effort

instead of the mercy of God.

To live in the now,

and in total reliance on Him;

perhaps we need to learn from babies

in how we perform our prayers.

For what is prayer but a desperate cry

to the One whose mercy 

we are totally reliant upon?

"Ist es nicht schön?"

https://youtu.be/UuC-M-85ArY

Let's weigh the pros and cons of the actor playing the suicide bomber shouting "Allahu Akbar" before the simulated bomb explosion.

Pro:

- The Greater Manchester Police says it is to make the simulation more "realistic". 

(A questionable pro at best, and I can't think of ANY other advantages.)

Cons:

- using a phrase Muslims say in prayer everyday, associating it with an act of terror,

- legitimises - makes "realistic" - the narrative that extremist groups promote: that killing innocent lives is an act of worship in Islam.

- it makes explicit the implicit idea that Islam, at best, predisposes to terrorist acts; and at worst, actively encourages it

- all in all, alienating the very community, Muslims, that the police should be reaching out to and working together with in order to combat terrorism

Ironic that a counter-terrorism exercise contributes to the very terrorism it plans to counter.

I congratulate the GMP for admitting their mistake and apologizing for it.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/05/10/police-simulate-dramatic-terror-attack-at-manchesters-trafford-c/

Awfa's Treatise on Loyalty and Trust

How beautiful a couple make Loyalty and Trust,

though too often they are found separated; incomplete:

This is the lesson from a baby

who hasn't yet learnt how to not trust.

A baby is born with eyes that do not judge.

But one of the first social skills she will learn

is to be anxious around strangers. 

To distrust.

You see, we don't forget how to trust.

Rather, we learn how to distrust. 

It is a natural stage of a baby's development;

maybe, an instinctive preparation to face a world

which is not always what it seems:

where people cheat, lie, deceive, play power games.

And to cheat, lie, deceive, play power games,

are social skills the baby, too, 

will learn as she grows up;

though now she is deceptively innocent.

We don't forget how to trust.

Rather, we learn how to distrust. 

And 

perhaps the belief that other people deceive

is a mechanism we build in our own minds

to cope with the guilt of our own deception.

Perhaps the belief that other people are not what they seem

is a mechanism we build in our minds

to cope with the burden of our own secrets.

If so then to trust is something to re-learn. 

And to learn how to trust others, 

one first has to learn to be worthy 

of the trust of others. 

How can I expect loyalty from others when I am myself untrustworthy? 

How can I expect to trust others when I am myself disloyal? 

Loyalty and Trust come hand in hand.

Naturally. Beautifully.

But only if they meet.

This is the lesson from a baby

who hasn't yet learnt how to not trust:

though too often they are found separated; incomplete,

how beautiful a couple make Loyalty and Trust. 

Credits: Awfa binti Adlan Wafi

In a Masjid in Puchong

I distinctly remember my mind being blown,

as I opened that book 

picked off a shelf 

in a masjid in Puchong

over four years ago now -

a Chinese translation of the Quran.

Immediately I turned the page

to one of my favourite ayat,

and as I often did back then 

took a picture, put on a cheap filter, and posted it on Insta 😓

But why did the image of Chinese letters

side by side with the Quran's Arabic words

have to blow my mind so?

When we have been taught in school

that the message of Islam is universal,

for all peoples of the world?

Perhaps it's because we have forgotten 

this unifying message of the deen,

and replaced it with the sentiment of racism and nationalism;

a sentiment taught implicitly in our Muslim homes, 

and lived out in our everyday lives.

All under the guise of 

Us Muslims, versus Them kafirs.

Until eventually we come to believe 

that Islam is Arabic,

or Malay.

How sad, how ironic

that we Muslims are the ones who hide the universal beauty of Islam

on a shelf in a masjid in Puchong:

"O mankind, 

indeed We have created you from male and female and 

made you peoples and tribes that 

you may know one another. 

Indeed, the most noble of you 

in the sight of Allah 

is the most righteous of you. 

Indeed, 

Allah is Knowing and Acquainted." 

- Surah Al-Hujurat:13

Possibly the most dangerous disease to affect a da'ie is that of self-righteousness.

Afflicted, he/she begins to think him/herself as pure,

belittling others and being rough to the very people

he/she is supposed to call to Allah.

Na'udzubillah..

http://youtu.be/96XCNwiMwI0