Hujung Ramadhan:

Terawih di Palestin diiringi ledakan bom dan peluru,

terawih di Malaysia diiringi ledakan bunga api dan mercun.

Orang Palestin diancam secara fizikal: zionis yang tak sabar nak lihat pemergian muslimin dari bumi barokah,

orang Malaysia hadapi ancaman rohani: hati yang tak sabar nak lihat pemergian bulan barokah.

As For Anger

A world full of injustice provokes anger. There is a reason for that: anger is a valuable tool in fighting injustice - one who has no anger whatsoever will be too scared or easily discouraged to stand up for what is right. 

But anger has to be controlled, as a hunting dog is controlled by its master:

“As for the force of anger, it’s balance is expressed through courage (and Allah SWT loves courage). If it leans towards the excessive side, it is called recklessness, and if it leans to deficiency it is called cowardice.

“As for the force of anger, it’s balance is achieved when it is restrained and released according to what either the Revealed Law or wisdom dictates.”

Al-Arba’in fi Usul ad-Din (The Forty Principles of the Religion), Imam Al-Ghazali

#RamadanKareem

Let’s Look into the Mirror when Driving

Lets look into the mirror when driving.

Malaysian traffic is my nemesis -
avoiding potholes, motorists refusing to give way, dodging motorcycles and 16-wheel lorries alike..
after a few hours on the road I find myself exhausted not only physically, mentally and emotionally, but also spiritually.
No joke - in this month of Ramadhan, driving in Malaysia is truly a test of sabr and iman.

Let’s look into the mirror when driving.

Yet, after a while, it dawned on me that I am committing the same mistakes as the drivers around me - if not worse.
I too cut lines, block others from joining the lane, park inappropriately.
What was it which prevented me from being aware of my own mistakes in the first place?
Stress?
A sense of entitlement?
A sort of superiority complex?
Perhaps the main issue is not actually the misdemeanour of other drivers; rather it is my reaction towards them.
In that sense my fellow motorists are a mirror, reflecting the diseases of my own heart.

Let’s look into the mirror when driving.

In this new Malaysia there is a new confidence among Malaysians to ‘muhasabah’ those in authority - ie to hold them to account for their wrongdoings. Such confidence is indeed a positive change for this country.
But let us remember that muhasabah first and foremost is to be directed towards oneself - towards one’s own heart and actions.

Let’s look into the mirror when driving.
Not only on Malaysian roads, but in life in general.

#ramadhanmubarak #malaysiabaru #malaysiamenujunegararahmah

Living in 

a washing machine;

in a cycle circular

faster and faster

until 

at the centre

is 

 just

   emptiness

Ya Allah, 

let the sun come out;

let not the cold harden my heart.

For the heart hardened aches,

for the heart hardened 

more easily breaks.

one can live several different lives concurrently;

while feeling in each and every one

lonely.

let not the loneliness be 

perpetual,

let not the loneliness be

spiritual.

[2:186] 

Forgive and Forget

Often without even trying, 

the ones closest to our heart 

(by the very nature of their closeness)

are the ones who can hurt us the most.

And because it hurts so much, 

it is our parents, siblings, lovers, close friends

who we can find hardest to forgive.

The remedy in the Quran addressing this problem 

is a quite simple piece of advice:

 "وَلـيَعفُواْ وَليَصفَحُوٓاْ"

"walya'fu": 

and do not punish 

"walyasfahu": 

and turn the page

Simply: 

'forgive and forget'.

Cool. 

But we just said that

it's not always that easy, is it?

So the ayat continues by asking:

"أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أًَن يَغفِرَ اللهًُ لَكُم"

"Would you not like 

that Allah should forgive you?"

SubhanAllah, with this

Allah has weighed up the difficulty of forgiving and forgetting 

against the magnitude of Allah's forgiveness.

(And what can possibly compare to the magnitude of Allah's forgiveness??)

Meaning, if a person still refuses to forgive and forget, 

it is quite possibly a problem of iman (faith).

If he still refuses to forgive and forget, then

he has to perhaps look into his heart 

to see what is stopping him: 

it could very well be pride and arrogance.

The ayat concludes with:

"وٓ اللهُ غٓفُورٌ رّٓحِيمٌ"

"And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful"

So..will you 

forgive and forget? 🙂

Reference: 

Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan's tafsir of ayat 22 of Surah An-Nur

Babies, Yu Yi and Prayer

Perhaps in how we perform our prayers, 

we should be learn from babies

to feel yu yi;

to live in the now.

They who have yet to learn how to crawl,

and so are not always in a rush to go somewhere;

They who have yet to learn how to say "me",

and so are not always busy thinking about themselves;

They who have yet to learn how to plan ahead,

and so are not always occupied about

what to do now,

in 5 minutes,

in 5 years.

Perhaps in how we perform our prayers,

we should learn from babies,

who live knowing they are

dependent fully on others.

They who have yet to learn how to feed themselves,

and so cry desperately whenever hungry

knowing instinctively that

survival depends entirely on the mercy of others.

They who have not yet forgotten how to be dependent,

have not yet fallen for the illusion that 

whatever they have in life

is there only because of their effort

instead of the mercy of God.

To live in the now,

and in total reliance on Him;

perhaps we need to learn from babies

in how we perform our prayers.

For what is prayer but a desperate cry

to the One whose mercy 

we are totally reliant upon?

"Ist es nicht schön?"

https://youtu.be/UuC-M-85ArY

Seat Booking

You know why I enjoy those weekly train journeys?

It is a chance to escape from both the weekday hassle of Preston hospital and the weekend hassle of Manchester;

a quiet time for me to share with just the window and my thoughts.

Sometimes, however, it would be a chance I wouldn't have:

if I catch the train at rush hour, the train is often full to bursting.

And so I would have to stand up for the nearly hour-long journey in close proximity to equally tired people who were also unlucky enough to not get a seat.

So, after a while, I developed a sense of apprehension when the train approaches the station..

would it be a relaxing, seated journey?

or would it be spent desperately trying to be comfortable by leaning on something the whole time?

Then one day, as I was getting on a train half-full 

(which is most 'exciting' because you don't know whether you're assured a seat or not), 

a thought struck me:

my seat has been booked!

No, I didn't make a booking via the trainline website; and so no, the seat did not have my name on it - 

but my seat booking is even more guaranteed than that!

Because (I just realized) Allah has decreed that 

on this particular train, at this particular time, a guy named Mikhail will get this particular seat.

And if Allah has decreed it, I will get it regardless.

(And if he has not, than I won't get it regardless.)

I guess that's life in general -

we so often feel under pressure;

under attack from all the decisions we have to make, the assignments we have to get done, the seats we have to race for.

But stress for what..??

"rufi'atil aqlaam, wa jaffatis suhuf", as the Prophet s.a.w. wisely described the nature of the fate which has been written for each of us:

"The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried".

A firm belief in qadha' & qadar will make you a chilled person. 

And that's cool, bruv 😎

(Not to say don't put in any effort at all lah.. 

If I don't make effort to get on the train in the first place, how should I even hope to get a seat??

The point is: Relax. Make the effort. Then chill.

"rufi'atil aqlaam, wa jaffatis suhuf") 

😎

"The heart is like a bird: 

love at its head and 

its two wings are 

hope and fear"

- Ibn Al-Qayyim

If one finds something difficult to put out of mind while in solat,

maybe you love it more than you love Allah.

Na'udzubillah.

[3:14-15]

#delayedgratification

Sajdah:

the best position to be in

as the world falls apart around you

#jomgimasjid

Inflammation

Inflammation is the body's way of protecting itself;

after a wound is made, inflammation 

clears harmful objects and dead tissue,

and helps the body heal.

Yet with inflammation

there is pain, loss of function

and in a tragic irony, 

too much inflammation can actually damage 

the very body it is meant to protect.

Such is the case with love,

which is but inflammation of the heart:

it is natural, human, and 

in the correct dose, good.

But what a tragic irony it would be 

if love for this world 

takes one away from 

the One who is Most Loving, who

blessed him with the object of love 

in the first place.

"Ya muqallibal quluub..tsabbit qalbi 'ala deenik"

#imanbarunakup

Jaga Hati

Because

you see, 

your heart has strings.

And pulling on them hurts.

Heartache. 

It is the pain of 

failure,

disappointment, of

unreached ambitions.

It is the pain of

dejection, 

rejection, of 

unrequited love. 

But why does it have to hurt so?

Thing is, 

it doesn't have to.

The dunya is an ocean 

in which the makhluk -

an infinite number of creatures -

swim around in an infinite number

of aimless directions. 

Tie your heartstrings to the makhluk

and your heart gets ripped apart,

broken

because

you see, 

your heart has strings.

And pulling on them hurts.

Why not tie instead your heartstrings

to Al-Khaliq - 

the One who created all creatures?

Tie your heartstrings only to Al-Khaliq

and your heart is not ripped apart,

but uplifted.

Tossed around by the waves of the dunya,

it is nonetheless be at peace,

guided always by the One who created it.

You see, 

your heart has strings.

And pulling on them hurts.

Reminder to self

who also has to 

jaga hati.

Nah, lagu nasyid: 😬

http://youtu.be/oD24r3lSGn4

Manchester Snow

Like footsteps left

in Manchester snow

is the dunya;

fleeting brushstrokes on

a fleeting canvas.

I am Independent

"I am independent"

It is the lie we are taught to believe in

as we travel through life;

and as we start 

moving out of our childhood bedroom,

becoming more educated,

and making more money,

it is a lie

we start to believe in.

"I am independent",

because I pay my own bills,

I make my own decisions,

I am my own man.

But what a delusion it is

when

it is not food that gives us nourishment, 

it is not an education that gives us knowledge, 

it is not friends or family that make us feel loved, 

but it is God who does..

even if He does it via 

the food, education, or friends and family 

that He grants us.

"I am independent";

the falseness of this delusion 

lies naked for all to see

at those points in our lives when

we are starving,

ignorant,

or unloved;

and the fragility of the human

body, mind, and heart

is laid bare.

You are not independent.

Where does your dependence lie?

Of Peace and OSCEs

Peace, funnily enough, 

can come in the knowledge

that you have a test coming up.

Because

when there is a test coming up,

it takes first priority;

everything else comes second,

allowing you to focus your time and energy 

on that one thing - the test.

Perhaps this is one way

we can say

that Islam brings peace:

not necessarily because

there is with it

an absence of conflict;

but because with it

one finds peace in oneself - 

the peace of knowing 

what the real test is,

and freeing you 

to focus your time and energy on it.

#tadabburOSCE

(Please make du'a for me...!!)

Redefinition

Perhaps we don't find peace in our solat

not because we have forgotten "how"

but because we have forgotten "why".

The irony being 

that the answer to the question "why solat?" 

is, actually,

"Why"

You see,

it is the nature of the dunya 

to make us fixated on 

the "how"s of life:

how to get a girlfriend,

how to raise our kids,

how to graduate from uni;

so much so that

we start defining ourselves 

by those "how"s: 

"I'm a lover,

a mother, 

a student."

Against this background,

the solat is, actually,

a redefinition of self

prescribed 5 times a day;

because, you see,

it is the nature of the solat

to make us remember 

the "why" of life:

"I'm an abid of Allah."

But it can only be so

if we stop misperceiving it as

as a mere ritual,

and stop the "how"s of life

from intruding into it.

Perhaps then

we shall find peace in our solat.

Credit

A Place To Turn To

Two days ago, I heard on the radio Yasmin -
a lady who reverted to Islam 21 years ago -
say (paraphrased):

"I fell in love with Islam because 

through it I finally knew

who to thank when I am happy,

and who to turn to when I am sad

I know who to say Alhamdulillah to

and who I can cry in front of when I need to"

Then today I came across the ayat Al-Fatir, 35:34.

SubhanAllah.

Muhammads Everywhere

Nobody told me, before I was to fly off to the UK, that I would be entering a land of Muhammads*. Which was, I guess , a pleasant(?) surprise for me.

For the last 20 years of my life, I’ve been addressed as Mikhail. Or Mike. Or Michael. Or Mickey. Or Mikey. Or Mike Callum. Or Kappa Mikey. Or even (for a brief period of time in Standard 1), as Mata Kail**.

But never as Muhammad.

So when my tutor read out the name on the attendance list:

“Muhammad”

I was obliged to reply:

“Which one?”

There were, after all, two Muhammads in my PBL group: Muhammad Ishack, from Mauritius; and myself, Muhammad Mikhail.

In my Anatomy group, it was even trickier: there were 6 Muhammads (in a group of about 13).

So it did strike me at first as impersonal to be called Muhammad. There was even a tinge of insult there: a small part of me felt that, as a Muslim, I was being subtly categorized as 'just another Muhammad'.

But then again, should I really be offended?

Humor me, for just a moment, and allow me to talk about Muhammad.

No, not the Muhammad writing this post but about the Muhammad born over 1400 years ago as the rahmatul lil alamin (blessing to all worlds).

By any standards, this guy was preettty cool.

And hey, don't just take my word for it. Take the words of Michael H. Hart (incidentally, a non-Muslim) who, in his 1978 book "The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History", ranked Muhammad as no. 1. 

Hart described the Prophet as "supremely successful" in both the religious and secular realms.

And the description makes sense; after all Muhammad was a man who was a successful businessman, a hugely influential social reformer, a fearless warrior, a visionary statesman, a spiritual guide.

But there is a danger here...the phenomenal successes of the man who somehow change the spiritual, political, economic and social landscape of the world may mask the actual man behind this whole event.

So allow me to talk about the man.

Muhammad was born into a noble bloodline, but he was not well-to-do. In fact he was born to a single mother (his father had died a few months prior to his birth). At his death, Muhammad (in terms of material wealth) died a poor man.

Muhammad did not partake in the immoral acts of his community before the Revelation was bestowed upon him at age 40. In fact, even before this he was known as "Al-Amin" - "The Trustworthy" (which you gotta admit is a way better nickname than "Mata Kail").

Muhammad did not (as some have the impression) spend all his time preaching from a stage set up in a mosque somewhere. In fact he lived very much a normal life, he was even known to walk through the markets of his town regularly.

The fact of the matter is, despite all his great successes, Muhammad the man was (consistently!) a caring father, a romantic lover, an awesome teacher, and a great neighbour.

Who else would stop an army for the sake of finding his wife's necklace?

Who else would help the same person who verbally abuses him everyday?
(click statements above to see my point)

And yet be so humble to continuously remind the people around him that he is not divine.

He is only a man, like you and I.

He eats, he drinks, he marries, and he dies.

For all this, Muhammad bin Abdullah has won my admiration, my respect, and InsyaAllah my sincere love.

Peace be upon you, the blessing to all worlds.

I am truly honored to have you as my namesake.

*in 2010 "Mohammed has become the most popular name for newborn boys in Britain." - Daily Mail.

**the Malay word for fishing hook.

The World Ends Again

We’ve been here before.

From Heaven’s Gate to Y2K, from the Jupiter Effect to Jehovah’s Witness, from Zombieland to The Terminator; history is dotted by (often absurd) examples of doomsday prophecies.

And so (insert yawn here) this Friday, once again the world is coming to an end.

What’s interesting, though, is the insanely wide range of reactions people have had to this piece of news.

At one extreme are the Preppers, folks who have decided that the world will end, and they will be prepared; no ands, buts, or ifs. Preppers stock up on food for months, hone survival skills and fortify their houses for the off-chance of, let’s say, a zombie apocalypse.

On the other end of the spectrum, meanwhile, are the people who have decided that the Apocalypse is a great opportunity to party the night away (“hey, it is the end of the world after all!”). Flyers abound for such merry doomsday get-togethers from those thoughtful nightclubs.

-__-"

But maybe I’m being a little too hard on them. After all, at the very least they’re doing something at the face of imminent widespread death and destruction.

What about the rest of us?

Most, I guess, lie in the “I don’t give a rat’s gluteus maximus” category.

The average person shrugs dismissively: “what will be, will be”

We don’t know and/or care that the world will one day come to an end.

Here’s an epic line from Tuesdays With Morrie which I want to quote at this point, said by the author’s dying professor:

“Everyone knows they’re going to die…but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.”

Because here’s the first painful, blindingly obvious truth: You will die one day.

You can die a thousand years old (if those medical journals are to be believed), or you could die an hour old.

You could die as heroically as being hit by a bus after pushing a child out of the way, or as embarrassingly as slipping in the toilet and breaking your neck.

You could die as spectacularly as a soldier in a hail of bullets, or as quietly as an old man on his deathbed.

Which brings me to the second painful, blindingly obvious truth: you don’t know when (and how) you will die.

Yes, the world will end one day (third painful, blindingly obvious truth).

But when it comes down to it, does it really matter when?

You could very well die tomorrow, with the world going on its business as usual.

In the end, the question (addressed to myself as well), is this:

Have we prepared enough for that personal doomsday of ours?

Will you face Death and say: “I am not afraid”?

Will you look back at your life and say: “I have spent it well”?

And will you look ahead to the hereafter and say: “I am ready”?

For myself, to all those questions, my answer right now is “No”. And I want to change that by becoming a better person everyday.

I am young and naïve; but I think that’s an aspiration we should all share.

And hey, it’s not too late; the world hasn’t ended yet. ;)

[The time of] their account has approached for the people, while they are in heedlessness turning away. (21:1)